Second Chances
by Nessy
Summary: Mulder is in yet another hospital... And while keeping vigil, Scully meets Dr. Susan Lewis...
1. Second Chances 1

TITLE: SECOND CHANCES (1/2)

AUTHORS: Nessy and Cirglas

RATING: PG-13 (a few swear words)

CLASSIFICATION: S R C (H)

KEYWORDS: X-Files/ ER Crossover, M&S/ Green &Lewis  
Romance, Phoenix, Arizona, Hospital, Coma!Mulder

SUMMARY: Mulder is in yet another hospital and while keeping  
vigil, Scully meets Susan Lewis and they become friends.

SPOILERS/TIMELINE: THE XF MOVIE and ER's UNION  
STATION (if you don't know one of them, it's okay, I think you'll  
understand this fic anyway.). Smaller reference to XF EMILY, XF  
PILOT and a few ER eps before Susan leaves. In this story M & S are  
partners on the X-Files, it's 2 1/ 2 years after Susan left Chicago (I  
think it was in November) and a year after the XF movie took place. I  
don't know if that is possible time wise, so if not, try to imagine it  
anyway, okay? :-).

DISTRBUTION: This goes to Gossamer through EP. Anywhere and  
anybody else is welcome to, just tell us where and don't earn any  
money from it or say that anybody else wrote this...

AUTHORS' NOTES:

We're sorry this story took us so long to be completed. Real life got in

the way, but here it is...finally!

The beginning of the story might be a little 'medical' so if you don't  
understand a word, don't worry (we asked people with medical  
knowledge to help, and now we're a little lost ourselves) and just read  
on; the rest is easier to understand.

Nessy: We never did a Crossover before and we definitely never  
wrote ER-fic, either. Hope it turned out okay anyway. We had a lot of  
fun with it and we're glad to be able to happy-end two great series.  
G If there are still typos or other mistakes in here, they're probably

my fault (NOT the beta readers' fault), because I tend to change a few  
sentences at the very last moment. :-)

Cirglas: This is very different from everything we have written so far,

especially because we have another character besides Mulder and  
Scully playing a major part in the story. But don't worry, there is  
enough MSR in here anyway.

DISCLAIMER: They do not belong to us (is there really anyone who  
does NOT know where M&S come from? Carter you're a Saint!!)  
and whoever owns Green, Lewis and co.: Thanks for letting us borrow  
them ;-) We're not making any money with this story, so don't sue us,  
it's not worth the trouble...

DEDICATION/ THANKS: Many, MANY thanks to Susan!! You  
started out as a med contact but helped us through the whole story.  
Thank you so much for your help, 'cause without you this would have  
never gotten finished and would only be half as good. Thanks also to  
Ten, Fabiana, Tanja, and everybody else for the encouragement and  
help.

This piece of fiction is for everybody who wants Greene and Lewis to  
get together as badly as Mulder and Scully !!

POSTED: 13 th April 2000

**SECOND CHANCES (1/2)**  
by Nessy and Cirglas

Phoenix, Arizona  
May 15 th 1999  
9:36 pm

The doors to the emergency room burst open and immediately the hall  
was filled with people and voices.

"What have we got, Dave?" The female resident asked the entering  
EMP, shouting over the usual bustle.

"White male, age 38, GSW to left shoulder. LOC at 9:24 pm.  
Flatlined for 4 minutes at 9:29. Pulse: 120-150, blood pressure 60  
palp, Glasgow rating: 6," the EMP diligently recited.

"Get me four units of O neg and type and cross-match for six more."  
She turned to her patient. "Sir? Can you hear me?" After waiting in  
vain for a response, she directed her attention back to her colleagues.  
"Get me a PA and lateral chest, also a C-spine. Someone page  
Holden."  
Suddenly she realized there was a face she didn't recognize. "And you  
are...?"

"I'm his partner, I administered first aid and have his PoA!", the  
petite red-head answered.

"You'll have to wait outside, Ma'am. Jessie will be with you in a  
minute," Susan said just before the doors closed behind her -- right  
into the concerned woman's face.

"Just great, Mulder, just great." She crossed her arms over her chest to

stop them from trembling but when she encountered a sticky  
sensation, she looked down at herself and realized there was blood  
soaking into the front of her suit. "Mulder, why are you doing this to  
me!?"

May 16th  
01:47 am  
Waiting Room

Scully glanced at her watch again. This was taking way too much  
time. She had borrowed scrubs from the hospital and tried to wash out  
her clothes as much as possible, but the blood stains just hadn't come  
out. She had anticipated as much -- remembering previous similar  
situations -- but she had needed to do something to occupy her mind.  
After she had done the paper work and gone through Mulder's record  
with the nurse, she had called Skinner, her mother, the Lone Gunmen  
and had checked her own voice mail, all just to get her mind off what  
was happening right on the other side of that plain white wall. The  
same wall which she was now pacing before and only stopping every  
once in a while to glare at it.

She hated waiting and especially sitting around doing nothing. She  
mused it might have something to do with her Irish heritage and the  
fact that waiting usually didn't help, or mean anything good. Most of  
the time she could control her impatience to the extent that nobody  
else would notice her anxiety, but every time Mulder was brought into  
the equation, it just took too much out of her.

She breathed out a sigh of frustration and sank down into one of those  
uncomfortable chairs again. That was the problem, wasn't it? This  
was Mulder, not just some colleague she only knew briefly or who  
wasn't that important to her. Mulder was more than her work partner,  
he was her best friend - her only real friend. Someone she could talk  
to - but usually didn't even need to, someone who understood her  
problems and fears. They were a team. And she was about to lose  
him...

God, what would she do without Mulder? She had been forced to ask  
herself that question many times over the years, usually because  
Mulder was -- just like now -- in a life-threatening situation. And  
still,  
she hadn't been able to answer the question yet, and she knew there  
really was no answer. She just didn't know how she could go on  
without him.

She tried unsuccessfully to think of something else. Unable to sit still

any longer, she again paced between the plastic chairs and the trauma  
room doors.

Were they taking good care of him? Was he waking up and she  
wasn't there to calm him down? Or worse: Was he dying in there,  
with all those strangers, yet terribly alone?

Scully was ready to kick in the door to the trauma room and see for  
herself.

Just then the doors opened and a very bedraggled doctor stepped out.  
Behind her the gurney with Mulder was brought out and rolled away.  
Scully was just about to follow his unconscious form when the doctor  
blocked her way and reached for her arm.

Scully was starting to get nervous. "What is it ?!"

"So you are Agent Dana Scully?"

"Yes", Scully answered with a sinking feeling and her stomach  
knotting up into a tight ball.

The doctor nodded and said, "Okay." She lead her a few steps away  
from the other people and began to talk. "Agent Scully, my name is  
Doctor Lewis. I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but your partner is in

a very bad shape. We have him stabilized now but..." She tried to read  
the woman's face, but was confronted with a professional mask, so  
she continued. "He lost a lot of blood and especially the fact that he  
flatlined for over 4 minutes is not very good."

Scully let out the breath she had been holding and nodded sadly.

But Susan had another bit of information that she needed to inform  
the agent about. "Frankly, we don't know if there's any permanent  
damage to the brain, and we will only be able to asses that after he  
comes to. Unfortunately, he was starting to get restless, so for the  
time  
being we had to sedate him to a state of coma, so that his wounds  
have a better chance to heal. We'll have to wait a day or two to find  
out, but since his pupils are equal and reactive we're quite optimistic.

Do you understand the situation?"

"Yes, I-- I'm a doctor myself."

"Good. The thing is, he can emerge out of this unscathed or he could  
be seriously disabled - we just don't know yet. We're bringing him up  
to ICU right now and then you'll be able to see him once they're  
finished arranging everything."

"Thank you, Dr. Lewis."

"I'm sorry I can't do more," she replied, but Scully was already  
heading to ICU.

May 16 th 1999  
3:45 am  
ICU

Scully turned her head as she sensed more than heard the door  
opening. She smiled as she recognized the figure entering.

"Hello, Dr. Lewis."

"Agent Scully."

Susan smiled at Scully encouragingly and moved closer to her and the  
bed. In silence she took Mulder's chart and studied it. Then she took  
an unoccupied chair from the other side of the bed and planted it next  
to Scully's sitting form, taking a seat herself.

Scully raised her eyebrows at Susan's obvious intention of staying.

"How is he doing?" Susan inquired softly.

"No change yet, but that can be seen as a good sign, I guess." Scully  
shrugged her shoulders. "And he's still hanging in there and for that  
I'm thankful. But, you know, trust him to become all fidgety and need  
to be sedated. Now we can't estimate the damage to his brain until it  
wears off."

"Agent Scully... We don't know if he'd be awake even then."

"Yeah, I know. But sometimes I do get the feeling that he doesn't  
want to wake up." She smiled to herself. "Like he knows he'll get  
punished for scaring me like that."

"Is that what awaits him?", was Susan's half joking, half serious  
reply.

Scully shook her head. "No, of course not. I used to believe I could be  
mad at him for getting into trouble like this and I'd prepare to be  
angry at him. But somehow, as soon as he wakes up I'm just so glad  
he finally did that I completely forget to get angry."

"Lucky him."

Scully snorted in agreement. "Definitely 'lucky him'."

Susan realized something: "So this is not the first time that he is in  
the hospital?"

Scully looked up at her with tired eyes. "The first time? I don't even  
remember the first time. And I didn't even start counting. He just  
always walks into dangerous situations and then ends up in the  
hospital. He is like a magnet for trouble. And I can't prevent it, so,  
at  
the end, I just pick up the pieces and set Humpty-Dupmty back  
together again." She turned back to the patient.

"You've never even been a practicing doctor, right?"

"No, but I'm getting enough practice, mind you. There's not a limb  
he hasn't injured, a kind of drug he hasn't had - whether before or  
during his stay in a hospital. A med class would have a field day with  
him. So much variety."

Scully turned from Mulder back to Susan when the woman next to her  
said, "You look tired, Agent Scully. Go back to the hotel, get some  
sleep. I'll have someone notify you if anything changes."

"I'm not going anywhere. But what are you still doing here? Your  
shift's over, the ICU isn't your responsibility anyway. We don't both  
have to stay here."

Susan moved her shoulders tiredly and rolled her neck. "Yeah, it was  
a long day. But I'm not ready to go home. Only an empty apartment  
waiting for me anyway."

Scully gave a genuine smile now. "Ah, a kindred spirit. Married with  
your work, are you? Call me Dana."

Susan nodded while reaching for Scully's hand to shake it. "And I'm  
Susan."

Simultaneously, they both turned to Mulder who was oblivious of  
their scrutiny.  
In their silence, the machines keeping Mulder alive were deafening  
and in the eerie glow emanating from the hospital lights, the two  
women waited for Mulder to recover.

May 16 th  
11:46 am  
ICU

"Dana. Come on. Dana, wake up."

Slowly, Scully's senses were coming alive and she began to regain her  
orientation. "Wha- What?" She squinted at someone hovering over  
her and slowly the haze before her eyes lifted enough to recognize the  
face. "Susan? What are you still doing here?"

A chuckle answered her. "Still? Dana, I'm here again. My shift  
begins in ten minutes."

Scully sat up in a hurry and checked her watch. Susan was right, it  
was almost noon already. Panicy questions like 'Had she missed  
something?' or 'Was something wrong with Mulder?' were quickly  
subdued by her logic: She would have been awakened by the alarm of  
the machines; she had become a light sleeper. Deciding a quick check  
wouldn't hurt though, Scully leaned over Mulder's unmoving form.  
She felt his forehead and checked his pulse on the EKG. As she  
proceeded with her well-rehearsed performance she sighed in  
frustration. There was absolutely no change for the better. She  
reminded herself that Mulder at least wasn't in a worse situation than  
before, either. Then she remembered why she had woken up in the  
first place. She turned around to look at her wake-up caller.

She turned to see Lewis with a half-grin standing behind the chair  
Scully had occupied until only a few moments ago.

"What?" Scully asked still a little tiredly.

Lewis shrugged and said, "Oh, nothing. Hey, I brought you some  
coffee and wanted to check in with you."

Only now did Scully notice the warming smell of fresh-brewed coffee  
that was filling the room and the two steaming cups Susan was  
holding.

Scully looked down at her hands holding Mulder's left hand. "Oh,  
thank you, Susan." She took the offered cup and sat down on the edge  
of the bed while Susan took a seat on the recently-vacated chair.

After taking a sip, Susan looked at the other woman. "How are you  
holding up, Dana?"

Scully stalled by taking a sip herself. Then she finally answered: "I'm  
Fine. Don't worry about me." She didn't feel very fine, though: She  
had a crick in her neck from sleeping bent over, her shoulders were  
tense and hurting, she had a throbbing headache and most of all she  
was terribly worried about Mulder.

"How often have you used that line already?"

Scully snorted. "Mulder doesn't swallow it, either."

"Well at least he's doing something right."

May 17 th 1999  
10:24 pm  
ICU

Scully looked at Susan siting in that horribly uncomfortable chair and  
wondered aloud, "How long have you been working here?"

"About two and a half years."

"Only? Where were you beforehand?"

"I lived in Chicago and worked in Cook County General in the ER  
there."

"Really? My aunt and uncle used to live there. Why did you come  
here? Get too cold for you in Chicago?"

Susan smiled. "No, that wasn't it, although the winters here are  
much friendlier. Actually, it all started out with my sister Chloe  
having a child that she wasn't capable of caring for. So she left her  
daughter Suzie with me. I had already decided to adopt her, when, a  
few months later, Chloe walzed in and demanded her back. Chloe  
said she was now able to provide for her and wanted to live in  
Arizona with her boyfriend and Suzie. So I had no alternative other  
than to give her Suzie back and live my life as it had been before."

"That must have been hard." Scully remembered her own daughter  
and how much losing her had hurt her, even though she had only just  
begun to know her. She sighed. That topic was still so painful, she  
wondered, was that ever going to change?

"It was terrible. I felt so lonely and my life so empty."

Scully nodded her understanding. "So you decided to follow them,"  
she deducted.

"Yeah, after trying to live without Suzie for a few months I knew I  
couldn't continue like that. So I asked my boss to help me get my stuff  
together and then I applied for a job here. I got accepted and left  
Chicago."

"You were lucky they had an opening here just then. So you just  
packed up and left? You didn't have any trouble leaving your friends  
and colleagues behind?"

"Of course. Making that decision was hard, but after I had chosen my  
path I was so relieved and happy, I was sure it was the right choice."

"It probably was a big decision," Scully conceded. "How did your  
friends react?"

"Well, first I told my best friend, Mark. I had dreaded telling him  
because I knew he'd be upset. But I knew I had to, so, when he came  
over to my apartment with this silly accusation about me having an  
affair with my boss..." Susan smiled at the memory.

Scully's eyebrows shot up. "He accused you of having an affair?"

"Yeah, though I really don't know where he got the idea. I told him,  
no, we didn't have an affair, that he had only helped me get all the  
paperwork for my transfer done." Susan laughed at the memory.  
"Actually it was pretty cute, how Mark stood in my living room  
asking me about my relationship to Dr. Morgenstern."

"And how did he react when you told him that you wanted to leave? I  
mean Phoenix is rather far from Chicago." Scully remembered that  
last year she had rather quit the FBI than move to Salt Lake City --  
away from Mulder.

"Oh, I felt so bad about my decision then. He looked at me with those  
sad and disbelieving eyes and the way his face fell... Gosh! But he was  
so sweet about the whole matter: When I told him that I was relieved  
about my decision, that a life in Phoenix would make me happy, he  
said I should go and be happy."

"Seems like a decent guy."

"Decent? That doesn't even begin to describe him." Susan tried to  
think of an incident that would demonstrate her new friend just how  
'decent' a guy Mark was. "You know, I have this terrible fear of  
flying," she began.

Scully nodded, she could certainly relate to that. She remembered her  
first case with Mulder: The airplane had been caught in turbulence  
and she had clutched her armrests in fear for life, whereas Mulder had  
not cared much about the shaking airplane. "I've gotten a lot better  
about it myself, but I know what you mean."

Susan's gaze turned inward as she remembered the particular day.  
"Once, Mark and I had to fly on a rescue helicopter and I was  
clinging to him for the whole flight. He was so nice to let me and even  
squeezed my arm to reassure me. Later, when I went back on the  
helicopter while he had to stay in the hospital, he was all worried  
about me flying alone again."

"Strange, Mulder did the same for me, actually. I mean I'm not afraid  
of flying itself, but when the plane is in turbulence I can get pretty  
scared. So, every time - since Mulder noticed this about me - when the  
plane starts to tremble, he distracts me with a card game, a file or one

of his wild theories that he throws at me."

"Well, seems like a pretty decent guy himself, huh?"

The two women chuckled and continued talking about the most  
important men in their lives.

"I remember as if it were yesterday," Susan admitted with a rueful  
smile on her face and began her story...

"Susan! SUSAN!" She stopped hoisting her last piece of luggage into  
the train but rather looked up and to her right, thinking she must be  
hallucinating, because she thought she heard someone hollering her  
name...

"Mark!" she yelled as she saw him running towards her. When he  
finally reached her, gasping for air, she asked concerned and  
confused: "Mark, are you okay? You came to say good-bye?"

Mark only shook his head, he was still out of breath and was still  
busily gulping down air. Finally: "No. Stay. I want you to stay."

"But, Mark...", she started.

He interrupted her, though. "I love you. And I'm stupid for not saying  
it before."

Susan was speechless for a moment, then she smiled. "No, no it's  
okay...I-- I knew. In a way, I knew."

That obviously wasn't enough for Mark. "Stay. We belong together.  
Tell me you don't feel the same...?"

After a long pause Susan said, "I'm sorry."

"We're right together," Mark insisted.

Trying to hold back tears, Susan said, "Mark, you are my best friend, I  
don't know how I'm going to make it without you."

"Don't go", Mark pleaded with her.

"I have to", she explained. "I don't belong here anymore, I have a new  
life, it's going in a different direction."

"Susan, I don't want to lose you." He looked like he was going to cry  
any minute now.

Susan hugged him to her, then raised her head away from his chest.  
They looked into each other's eyes and then she touched her lips to  
his. Their kiss was short but full of emotion. The conductor pulled her  
on the train, just barely before it started to move.

Before the door closed completely, Susan assured Mark: "I'll never  
forget you."  
A few horrible seconds past, during which Susan realized she had to  
tell Mark the truth. When she looked out of the open window again  
Mark was standing there staring at the train leaving. "I do love  
you," she yelled.

Mark only stared at her in shock. "What?"

"I love you!" She shouted louder and more confident this time. Mark  
stared at her dumbfounded and didn't react until she screamed,  
"Bye!", smiling and waving at him. Not able to handle the sight of  
him standing there, looking so confused and lost, any more, she  
disappeared back into the train.

"Leaving him was the hardest thing I ever had to do," Susan uttered  
with a sigh.

"Did you ever see him again?" Scully asked, still amazed at the  
dramatic scene Susan had just described.

"No," Susan admitted. "I've only written him a card for the very first  
Christmas. Otherwise I've written only the whole gang at the ER at  
once and also Carol, a friend of mine who works there, once or twice  
a year."

"So you didn't talk about that scene at the train station again?" Scully

knew denial when she heard it. She had enough experience with it  
herself.

"I didn't feel comfortable bringing it up. I thought we could just  
ignore it and go on like before. But then I decided not to write him  
anymore, so that we both could move on with our lives."

"But it didn't work." It wasn't a question. "Not for you, and probably  
not for him. Mulder and I tried that, too... Denying what had  
happened... Needless to say, it didn't work either. I guess, we're  
probably still thinking about it... at least I am ...all the time."  
Scully  
stared ahead unseeingly, and a soft, reminiscing smile played around  
her lips.

"What happened?" Susan was glad to be able to divert the attention  
from her life for a while.

Averting her eyes, Scully fingered the material of Mulder's blanket.  
"We -- we almost kissed a year ago."

This was starting to become an interesting story, Susan decided.  
"Almost? Did you stop him? Or he you?"

"No. No, the intention was mutual. But we got interrupted ... by a bee  
that stung me. To make a long story short, things came up and then it  
didn't seem appropriate to talk about it any more. So we left it at  
that.  
An Almost Kiss."

"A bee?" Susan couldn't quite keep the grin off her face.

Scully smiled in return. "You have absolutely NO idea..."

"And you've been working together a year and haven't discussed the  
matter? Isn't it confusing not to be sure where you stand?" That  
earned her a 'Look' from Scully. "Okay, okay, the pot and the kettle, I  
know..."

End part 1

MYTOWN  
NOW THAT I FOUND YOU

How can I believe that my  
Heart would find someone like you  
You see the real me  
No in-betweens, I had nowhere to hide  
You took away the walls around me  
Made me feel safe to share my truth Chorus:  
I see the heavens open  
A heart that once was broken  
Is holding nothing back  
Now that I found you baby  
Now that I found you

You believe we're meant to be  
Our chemistry will last forever  
And through the years we've seen some tears  
We'll conquer fears, together we will grow  
When I'm looking in your eyes they tell me  
I'll no longer have to feel alone 

Because you, you see me  
The real me  
You believe in me 


	2. Second Chances 2

**SECOND CHANCES (2/2)**  
by Nessy and Cirglas

See disclaimers and authors' notes in part one.

POSTED: May 5 th 2000

May 18 th  
1:32 pm  
ICU

"The worst thing is, it all feels so purposeless now. I mean, I came in  
the hope of starting anew, seeing my niece all the time, helping Chloe and  
even making myself a career."

Susan and Scully were once again talking about their lives. They both  
enjoyed the hour long chats, for they both didn't have that many friends  
to talk to and share their feelings and experiences with. And now it seemed  
as if they had both found someone who understood them.

"And?" Scully prompted when Susan hesitated.

"And, it turned out completely different. I'm here, working in the ER,  
only getting to see Little Suzie about once every two or three weeks, thanks  
to my work schedule. Chloe and her husband really don't need my help that much  
and 'cept for the few dollars more that I earn, I'm not making much of a  
career. I could have just stayed in Chicago all along. This is Chloe's  
family and life. I should have concentrated on getting my own and not tried to  
cling to someone else's."

"You really think you made the wrong decision?"

"I don't know. What would you have done, had you been me?"

"I'm not sure." Scully thought of Emily again and how much she had loved  
the little girl after only a few days. She still wasn't able to tell  
Susan about that particular painful memory, but she could certainly relate to that  
kind of Connection to a child. Scully knew very well what she had done, had she  
been in Susan's place. "I probably would have done the same thing," she  
said. "But the question is whether you regret it, especially leaving  
Mark."

A long pause.

"Maybe it would have worked out with Mark and me, maybe I could have  
stayed. But I'm not so sure about that. If he'd -- if we'd admitted  
our feelings earlier, then it might have worked. But by the time we did  
admit our feelings, I had already arranged everything. I had planned and organized  
my move, I had even said good-bye to Chicago, my former life, my friends...  
had gotten used to the idea, had already decided to end the life I had lead  
until then. I couldn't just change my plans, make a U-turn only because Mark  
had decided he wanted me with him. And I still wanted to be with Suzie, so I  
had to be strong. I couldn't show any indecision - especially to Mark."

"But you could have decided differently the minute he admitted his love  
for you." Scully was not letting Susan off the hook that quickly. She  
realized that this was a very sore topic for her friend, but also that it was  
important to talk about.

Another long pause.

Susan averted her gaze. "Yeah, I guess I could have." Then she found the  
strength again to meet her friend's gaze. "And just a split second I  
wanted to do it. I wanted to stay with him so badly."

"Why didn't you stay?" Scully inquired.

"The way we depended on one another scared me shitless," Susan said  
solemnly. The two women chuckled.  
"No." Susan's face straightened. "Actually, I think I expected my future  
to be with Little Suzie. I had been so lonely when Chloe took her back and I  
wanted the pain to ease. I wanted to be a part in Suzie's life; she was  
like a daughter to me and I didn't want her to forget me. But I just didn't  
take into account the pain it would cause me to leave Mark. I thought I could  
always come back to him and we'd resume where we'd left off..."

"Do you think it's still possible?" Now, this was a question Scully  
still had to answer for herself and asking it of someone else helped her realize  
that.

"I don't know." She smilingly shook her head. "I don't think going back  
would be as easy as I thought back then. The irony is, I've been offered  
a job in County General again. It's a good job, better paid than this one. My  
boss came to me yesterday and told me that there was an opening and he wanted  
to notify me, since he thought I was a good candidate for the job,  
particularly because I already know the staff and the area. And County General would  
even want me back. So now I only have to say 'yes' and the job is mine."  
She shrugged.

"Wow, talking about coincidences. Would you want to go back? To Mark?"

Suddenly, a spark in the other woman's eyes appeared that hadn't been  
there before. "I'd love to go back. I can almost see his face--- " Her face fell  
again. "But it's been over 2 years now. Two and a half, actually. Maybe there's  
someone else now, someone that's taken my place... I don't think I could bear  
that. I'd rather not know."

"You got a second chance, Susan! It's now or never... No, wait. Let me  
rephrase that: it's NOW!" Scully said forcefully with more enthusiasm  
than Susan had expected.

Susan shook her head sadly. "I don't know. I have friends here now, I  
don't know if I want to start all over again."

"But you wouldn't have to start from scratch. At least not completely.  
I'm sure that in two years a lot has changed, but you'll make it. You know  
people there. You've been through a lot with them, got to know them really  
well.Those are friendships that last. They aren't over just because you  
left."  
Scully hoped her friend would realize that she shouldn't throw this  
once-in-a-life- time chance away.

"You think so?"

"Yeah, I think you should do it."

"Really?" Susan asked in hopeful uncertainty.

"As I said, Susan, you've got a second chance. How many people can say  
that about a major decision they've made?"

"That's true." Still not convinced, though.

"How about going there on vacation before you make a definite decision  
about the job? You could try it out, test the waters so to speak... You  
could check out the situation, get reacquainted with your friends, catch up  
and perhaps even make up for lost time. Don't you think they'll be pleased  
if you show up for a visit?"

"Yeah, I guess they would."

Scully could see the smile on Susan's face growing and her eyes becoming  
more alive. Now to give her the last push: "You could talk to Mark and  
see if his feelings were -- are -- genuine and if he still cares for you. And  
how you feel about him, for that matter. So? What do you say?"

"I'd say..."

"Yeah?" Scully leaned forward to not miss a word.

"I'd say..." A big grin spread over Susan's face. "I think it's time  
for me to go to a Bulls Game again. Haven't been to one in a while..."

May 20 th  
4:26 pm  
ICU

" 'so that there is distinct evidence of a conspiracy...'--- Oh,  
really??--- 'Sources have verified the existence of an unknown agent in the toys  
that is used to gather information about the owner.' --- come on, guys!!-----,  
'but our sources confirm that not only does the government observe our  
children through Star Wars figures, but it also experiments with mind control  
devices through matching video games. There are suspicions that George Lucas has  
only brought out the new movie to sell even more of the mentioned  
merchandise...' ---- This is ridiculous!! Mulder, I hope you realize  
what a sacrifice I'm making for you."

There was no reply from the bed, the ever unmoving figure remained as it  
was. Scully heaved a sigh and gave the hand she was holding a friendly  
squeeze. "Come on, Mulder, I know you're in there somewhere... It's  
time to bug the nurses and infuriate the doctors..."

Heaving a sigh, Scully turned the page with her unoccupied hand and  
skimmed the next few articles to find one that she could read to Mulder.  
This was horrible. Here she was, reading THE LONE GUNMAN to Mulder, for  
his benefit as well as to kill time. She just hoped the room wasn't  
bugged and that nobody could hear these crazy ramblings about government  
conspiracies and aliens, because she was afraid they'd take her straight to a mental  
asylum.

But she was already through her medical magazines, that day's Washington  
Post and the new issue of THE BEST CROSSWORDS EVER - not that  
Mulder had been a great help solving them. She refused to read a  
SEVENTEEN to Mulder. She had seen one in the waiting room but had not  
taken it with her. So the guys' theories kept her company when her  
favorite believer was out. Good thing The Gunmen had sent the new issue to their  
hotel... she didn't even want to know how the guys had gotten Mulder's  
and her recent address.

"Mulder, if you don't wake up soon, I'll start to believe this stuff I'm  
reading." No reaction. This was terrible. The doctors had said he would  
probably wake up during the next 24 hours or so, but of course they  
didn't know for sure. It was up to Mulder. It was up to Mulder to lay her  
worries about him to rest. "Mulder, wake up and tell me you're okay."

Because that didn't get his attention, she tried humor: "Come on, Mulder  
I'm bored senseless. I need one of your wild theories to poke holes in, or  
how about a nice little argument about the existence of extraterrestrials?"

Since there was still no reply from the man on the bed, she gave up for  
the time being. She dropped the magazine on the bedside table and looked  
around the room for something to do. Nothing. She started tapping her  
foot and made herself stop. After a while she noticed that now she was  
drumming her fingers on the armrest instead.

She closed her eyes and rolled her head around to relieve some tension.  
"You know, Mulder, this is not what I understand under 'silent  
communication'."

She felt a slight squeeze of her hand.

And then he started choking on the tube down his throat.

She jumped up in a fluid motion that was so quick it only took an  
instan and pushed the nurses' button. Then she was at his side.

"It's okay, Mulder, don't fight the respirator. Just try to relax. The  
doctors will be here in a sec and they'll remove it right away. That's good.  
Just let it breathe for you, there you go."

At her words and touch he calmed down a bit, but he appeared far from  
happy with the situation -- who could blame him for that?  
She brushed the stubborn lock of hair from his brow and then stroked his  
cheek with the back of her fingers.

She hated to see Mulder suffering because of the respirator and wondered  
how long the nurses or doctors would need to get there... Mulder pulled  
violently at the restraints that bound his hands. Scully recognized he  
certainly didn't like the machine breathing for him and desperately  
wanted to rip out the respirator.

When Mulder started choking again, it was Scully's cue to take action.  
She tore open the drawer of the bedside table, grabbed a pair of scissors  
and swiftly cut the smaller tube that lead to the inflation cuff of the  
respirator.  
"You can't wait, huh? Okay, Mulder, help me out. When I say 'now',  
breath out as hard as you can.-- NOW!" While he breathed out, she pulled out  
the now-deflated tube.

Though in pain and coughing, Mulder seemed relieved to get rid of the  
offending plastic and he thanked her with his eyes.

"There you go." She smiled at him. She smoothed her hand through his  
hair and patted his good shoulder. "Welcome back, Mulder."

May 22 th  
Room 416  
12:33 pm

"Mulder do you want me to feed you?" Scully remarked after watching  
Mulder pick and prod his jello for 5 minutes.

Scully had picked an untimely moment for her comment, for Mulder was  
just taking a sip of water. Her remark caused him to choke and send the water  
flying through the room.She chuckled and patted his back to alleviate his suffering.

"Sorry," Scully apologized when he had calmed down again.

"You want to kill me, Scully?"

"What, you can dish out, but not receive?"

"Scully, you wound me." He tried to get her with his famous puppy-dog  
look.

"I will if you won't eat your jello."

"I thought you'd feed me."

"You wish."

"You been reading my journal again?" he leered.

"That would be a good idea. Maybe then I'd understand what's going on in  
that brilliant mind of yours."

"Brilliant, huh?"

"Oops, please, don't tell Skinner I slipped..."

"You keeping other secrets from me?"

"Maybe."

"Maybe?"

"You're a brilliant FBI agent... figure it out yourself."

"Think I should start with body-searching you?"

She sent a look his way that he had trouble identifying as good or bad.  
He swallowed.  
A knock interrupted their gaze. The door opened and Susan stepped in.

"Hey, Mulder, I heard you're being a pill... The nurses said they've  
never seen anyone as stubborn as you."

Mulder smiled a welcome to the intruder. He had only met Dr. Lewis  
briefly yesterday but had liked her and she and Scully seemed to have developed  
a particular friendship over the week he'd been in the hospital.

"Well, that's what I promised you, Susan, remember?" Scully smiled at  
her friend. "I've tried to make him stop, but he keeps bugging everybody --  
including me -- with the question of when he'll be out of here. How was  
your morning?"

A few medical sentences followed, of which Mulder understood the words  
'I' and 'was able to'. That was about it, so he gave up trying. When he  
heard 'Chicago' mentioned he looked up, thinking he might be able to take part  
in the conversation again.

"Yeah, Chicago's beautiful this time of year. I talked to Carol and she  
said I should wait another week or two before I go...", Susan was just now  
saying.

Mulder's thoughts drifted off again. What on earth were they talking  
about? The worst thing was, he was used to having Scully all to himself when in  
hospital. And now? This time she had made friends with this doctor.  
Okay, Susan was nice and he was glad Scully hadn't been sitting around all  
alone while he was out of it. But now he was awake, so Scully was supposed to  
give him her undivided attention.

He looked back at Scully's profile and absently nibbled his bottom lip  
while pondering what to do to attract her attention.

"Scully, did you know--"

"Can it wait just a minute, Mulder?" And with an apologetic smile she  
continued her conversation with Susan.

Mulder was dumbfounded. What was going on? He tried two or three more  
times to squeeze in a sentence of his own, but failed miserably.  
Women...

He was getting bored and started playing with his jello. He scooped it  
up on the spoon and played catapult. The smudge of jello landed in front of  
him on the blanket. He was satisfied though, for he knew Scully would react to  
that; she was such a neat freak.

However, Scully only took the napkin from the tablet and without so much  
as a glance in his direction cleaned the mess up without missing a beat in  
her sentence.

Mulder prayed to the heavens above that Scully would pay attention to  
him again.

Someone must have listened, because, just then, Susan's beeper went off.

"Well, gotta run." Lewis quickly exited the room with a "see you, guys"  
thrown over her shoulder.

Yes! Scully was all his ---

"Mulder, I think I'll go, too."

Oh, NO!! Mulder's hopes were destroyed.

"Don't look at me like that, Mulder. I didn't run after the suspect and  
get shot. I will not suffer through jello. I prefer REAL food, thank you  
very much."

He shot her a glare. "What about the cafeteria?"

"No, thanks. I know what hospital food is like, that's why I'm eating  
out. Anyway, the police department asked me to stop by today, so I'll eat  
something on the way over there."

"And you make me eat my jello!"

"Mulder, if you're a good boy, I'll ask them to only give you ice cream  
instead of all that jello..."

His eyes lit up. "Hmmm. I wonder if there's sunflower seed ice cream?"

She fought the smile in reaction to his joke, but failed. "And I  
promise, I'll be back to read you a good-night story."

One side of his mouth curved up.

Scully started collecting her stuff and then leaned over to give Mulder  
a hug which he gladly returned as well as he could with a hurting shoulder.  
"You know, if you're REALLY good, I might even sing you a lullaby tonight,"  
she whispered into his ear right before she gave him a peck on his cheek.

His smile became a full-fledged grin.

Reluctantly, they let go of each other and she left.

And Mulder grinned throughout the afternoon.

Epilogue  
About 7 months later  
December 18 th, 1999

Dana Scully woke up with a warm feeling of contentment. She stretched  
languidly, bathing in the knowledge that it was Saturday and there was  
no need to go into work today. The bed shifted as Mulder came awake next to  
her. She rolled onto her side and lovingly gazed down at him. His eyes  
slowly opened and revealed hazel orbs looking back at her.

"Hey, Scully."

"Hey, yourself."

They smiled at each other and after quite a while of reading each  
other's eyes, Scully leaned down to touch her lips to his.

She still couldn't quite believe it: Mulder and she were lovers now, had  
been for almost six months, actually. Scully smiled as she remembered the  
"pep-talk" she had given Susan a few days before that and the way her new  
friend had turned towards her afterwards and said:

"You know what, Dana? I'll tell you something. You start working on your  
relationship with Mulder and I -- I'll go visit Mark, okay? Is that a  
deal?"

Scully had looked at her shoes a little embarrassed and had replied:  
"Susan, you don't understand. My situation is different from yours --"

"Right, you don't have to move somewhere else for this someone and you  
pretty much know that your man loves you."

"No. -- Yes. Well, that isn't what I mean. Mulder's and my jobs are very  
dangerous. We have made ourselves numerous enemies over time and I'm  
afraid they might use a relationship between Mulder and me against us."

"From what you've told me, they already do that. You haven't told me  
everything, I know, but I think life is hard and short enough. Everybody  
takes risks every day: driving in traffic, riding an elevator, eating in  
a restaurant. I admit that my job isn't as risky as yours - even though I  
used to think it's pretty dangerous, before you told me about your life...  
Anyway, I admit your life is in greater jeopardy than those of 'normal' people,  
but that's why you have to live a little. Milk life for what it's worth, Dana. You  
deserve a little happiness in life, too, you know."

What could she have said to that, other than "yes."? So she had agreed  
to at least give it a try and ask Mulder about his plans for their future -  
since she felt that he had some say in the matter, too - while Susan would go back  
and visit her friend(s) in Chicago.

It was Mulder's turn to make breakfast, so Scully claimed the shower for  
herself. They had decided to go Christmas shopping today and since they  
did want to get going, they mutually decided that he better not join her in  
the bathroom. When she stepped into the kitchen they enjoyed breakfast  
together. After that Mulder took his shower whilst Scully did the  
dishes.

That done, she had some extra time to kill so she went to fetch the  
mail. Sifting through the envelopes, a colorful postcard caught her attention.  
She marveled on the beautiful sunset over a city that was portrayed there.  
She smiled when she read what was scribbled over it:

Greetings from Chicago.

She only new one person from Chicago.

She quickly turned it over and scanned the handwriting. She smiled at  
the good news her friend had for her. Then she read it again more closely.

Hey, Dana,  
thought I'd drop you a line. Mark is great.  
We just celebrated our 1/2 -year anniversary a few  
days ago. Chicago's a lot 'hotter' than I remembered  
it. :-) Hope you and Mulder are doing okay.  
If you happen to come to Chicago,  
please stop by, I have a lot to thank you for.  
Marry X-mas, you two. Take care (of each other).  
Thanx, Susan

End of Story

MYTOWN  
NOW THAT I FOUND YOU

You believe we're meant to be  
Our chemistry will last forever  
And through the years we've seen some tears  
We'll conquer fears, together we will grow  
When I'm looking in your eyes they tell me  
I'll no longer have to feel alone

Because you, you see me  
The real me  
You believe in me


End file.
